LOVE TRIANGLE (OR PENTAGON?) AT THE RETREAT

Filed by Raine Solara, WTTQ News, live from the Basement Club lounge, where the espresso’s too strong and the drama’s always brewing.

BUN G CHORD has confessed in song, during a moody synthwave set that he harbors feelings for Astrid, Tubby’s mysteriously quiet sister who may or may not be part alien and definitely drinks her coffee black as the void.

Oh no...not a love triangle

There’s just one problem.

ASTRID is dating DANDY.

Yes, that Dandy the lentil-loving, jazz-hands-wielding shapeshifter who streams late-night cooking shows and occasionally bursts into philosophical song about tofu.

WHAT WE KNOW:
Bun’s love song, “Interstellar Heartbreak (Astrid's Lament),” debuted at 2:12 a.m. It made Rachel cry.
Astrid was seen watching the performance from the DJ booth… in complete silence. Then she disappeared into the mist.

Why is she studying Anjelikka?

Tubby has Not Commented™, but was spotted sharpening his alien toothpick collection.
Dandy later uploaded a video titled “Love Is a Soup: Stir Often, Burn Never,”  unclear if it's about Astrid, Bun, or soup.
Shayth’rien claims he saw Astrid “dimension-blink” when Bun hit the high note.

It turns out Astrid, the quiet sister of Tubby, the object of Bun’s synth-drenched affection, and current romantic enigma to Dandy, has a secret mission.
She’s not just dancing through the fog and sipping espresso in mysterious silence.
She’s here to study Anjelikka.

Sources say she’s been assigned by the Council of Outer-Psychic Relations to observe:
The anomalous gravitational pull around Anjelikka’s presence (emotional and otherwise).
Her ability to attract cats, postcards, ex-lovers, and unexplained radio signals.

Are the shrooms here?

The possible dimensional rip beneath the gallery, which began appearing right after Anjelikka painted something she wasn't supposed to.

Meanwhile, Erma, the elusive elder who runs the Retreat’s forgotten corner, is cultivating a lush, glowing mushroom garden.

Known only to a few, this garden includes:
Memory Spores: Trigger long-forgotten romances when inhaled.
Truthcaps: Make anyone say what they really think about the Basement Club dancers.
Blinkshrooms: Allow 3-second dimension shifts. Often used by Shayth’rien during awkward silences.
Silent Bells: Mushrooms that ring in other frequencies, sometimes causing jukebox malfunctions.
“Shay’s Folly”: A rare, blue-speckled fungi known to inspire dangerous art.

Erma says she grows them for “balance and beauty.” Others suspect a defense system. Possibly even a cure for the alien cat addiction to Basement booze.

ASTRID & ERMA: CONNECTED?