Friday, November 18, 2016

Woman gives birth at Hospital Nightclub!!!

I guess you really should not go to a nightclub when you are in labor already, but who can resist the beautiful Willows that has turned their nightclub into a hospital? You know right!!!

Dr. FeelGood Greg was ready for this adventure down the birth canal and all the morning-evening sickness that there is.
Arriving there and I felt that my water broke, but with so many doctors and nurses there we discovered I only peed. Women at this stage have to be a lot. You knew that, right?
Not sure if a water delivery would have been better or staying here with these doctors and nurses. Did they go to medical school? One wonders when they all jump around and twist and turn to this loud music. I know they did not want to hear me scream. Makes only sense. As contractions intensify, so does the screaming, after all, this is painful. Where is my epidural?

Do I look fat in this? Be honest now. Pregnant women are so sensitive to this and no matter what you say, we feel fat. Greg:" you look kinda cute with that big belly." 
I mean really..."kinda cute" it is either yes you are or no. I told you we are sensitive to this subject. LOL.

Ok, then the urge to push. It is time. Greg says "push 123, push" Just then somebody in the club talks about bacon and Greg loses his focus and talks about bacon and how good it is and how much he loves it. Hey, I am having a baby here. Focus!
Push, push and 1 2 3 I deliver.

Wait a minute, this does not look like a baby. It looks like a piggy. I delivered a 2-pound gacha piggy. What the hell? It is all Greg's fault for thinking bacon. 
We are naming the piglet "Babe". The crowd congrats us and I say, "Let go take Babe home, babe." 

He wanted bacon and I delivered!!! 

P.S. He better don't think that I will deliver a cow.