Dear Pixelette, is Area 52 a safe environment?

If you have questions for Pixelette about the aliens, please comment below or get a hold of Anjelikka

Is Area 52 a safe environment?

Darling, safe is such a relative term like “offline” or “committed.” Let’s just say Area 52 is the kind of place where you might leave with more questions than when you arrived... and maybe an extra limb or lover.

Quick Safety Checklist for Area 52 Visitors:

Radiation-Resistant Fashion: Sequins help deflect memory probes. So do cat ears.
Avoid the Snack Table: Those aren’t deviled eggs. They’re memory spores.
Never Say Your Real Name: Just smile and say, “Call me Dandy.”
Don’t Accept Postcards from Floating Cats: Unless you enjoy being emotionally rewired through vintage ink.

What Makes Area 52... Questionable?
Unmarked Portals in Bathroom Stalls
The “Lounge Lizard” that actually is a lizard
The Retreat’s HR Rep is a mirror named “Lucien”
Draxtor once accidentally swapped bodies with a coat rack

So… is it safe?
Emotionally? No.
Cosmically? Unlikely.
But existentially thrilling? Oh, absolutely.

Beam wisely,
-Pixelette

P.S. If the cats start humming lounge music, run toward the nearest glitch, not away.

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