LOCATION: Undisclosed sector, Area 52 perimeter
Sources inside the facility have confirmed that several recently detained off-world visitors tested positive for what xenobiologists are calling “extradermal symbiotic microfauna” or, as one guard bluntly put it, space lice.
Witnesses report that containment staff were ordered into full decontamination gear after security orbs detected “unregistered micro-organisms” swarming around the newcomers’ cranial ridges and flight suit collars.
Dr. Paxa Mellorin, AKA Dr. Parallax, Area 52’s chief exo-parasitologist, reassured the public:
“They pose no threat to humans… unless you share a helmet.”
The infestation was traced back to a cargo skiff docked near the Straminsky Region, a known hub for interstellar traders. The skiff has since been quarantined, fumigated, and politely towed into orbit “until further notice.”
Meanwhile, alien detainees were given a medicated rinse described as smelling “like cinnamon and engine coolant.”
Dr. Mellorin’s team believes the lice prefer beings with shared environmental atmospheres, meaning they’re less likely to survive long on methane-breathers or plasma-based life.
The big scare?
They can hitch rides in helmet padding, telepathic headbands, and even woven trade blankets, which is why Area 52 just banned “unsanitized souvenirs” from the alien market.
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| Can you tell me more about these microbes... |
WTTQ will provide updates as soon as the space lice stop biting.
We are still calling for venues to participate in the search for Search for Extragrid Intelligence (SEGI)
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