“Earth Now Has Two Moons: Is One of Them… Alien?”

Filed by: Trenton Glass, Science Correspondent 

TRENTON GLASS: “Viewers, we interrupt your nightly feed from Area 52 with breaking news from the upper atmosphere: astronomers and at least one very startled alien confirm that Earth is now being orbited by two moons. The second appeared sometime between midnight and 3:13 A.M., depending on whose telescope you trust. A "quasi-moon" called 2025 PN7 will be here until 2083, according to experts. The aliens knew all about this already and are prepared."

More sightings: One familiar moon glowing white. The other… darker, flickering with faint, bioluminescent patterns, as if watching back. A few alien cats stare upward, unimpressed, tails twitching in binary rhythm.

DR. PARALLAX:  “We don’t think it’s a natural satellite. It’s broadcasting faint audio patterns that resemble heartbeat intervals. The sound… responds when you hum near it.”

RAINE SOLARA: “Citizens of Area 52 are calling it The Mirror Moon. Others claim it’s a cloaked vessel, the long-rumored 3i-ATLAS returning home after years in silent orbit.”

ANJELIKKA: “Oh, that second one? She’s not new. She’s remembered. The aliens just stitched her back into the sky where she belonged.”

DEVON: “If that moon is alien… then who’s been controlling the tides all this time?”

TRENTON GLASS: “Until further confirmation, residents are advised not to panic, but maybe check your reflection tonight. If it winks back, congratulations… you’re lunar property now.”

“Stay tuned — we report under every light.”