BREAKING: “ALIENS RELEASE COOKBOOK; ODIN DECLARES FASHION WAR”

Filed via unstable transmission from the Retreat’s lighthouse (no, there is no lighthouse) by Raine Solara, who accidentally tasted page 47.

THE INTERGALACTIC COOKBOOK
Title: “To Serve You (And Also Snacks)”

Get your free copy in the Basement Club soon, it was sent to the printer on planet Claire.
Compiled telepathically by the cat-aliens, edited by a blender, and "test-tasted" by Dr. Parallax himself.
This isn't your typical Betty Crocker or Dr. Phil's dream lasagna.
Inside you’ll find:

Nebula Noodles – boil in starlight or lukewarm guilt
Lunar Flan – served best during arguments
Quantum Croutons – exist in all salads until observed
Emotional Salsa – changes flavor based on your mood
Zero-G Baklava – harder to eat than it is to forgive
Rachel’s Guilty Sparkle Shots – made without her knowledge
“Forgiveness Stew” calls for a regret, a hairpin, and 12 hours in low orbit
Each recipe includes nutritional values translated into scent.

While the aliens serve interdimensional hors d’oeuvres, Odin has taken it upon himself to redefine elegance at the Retreat.

Wasn't Odin the Demo Man?

He refers to himself as a “FashionAtic” part fashionista, part lunatic, and full-time threat to monotony (his group tag says so).

This week’s ensembles include:

1. A cloak made of rejected postcards
2. Sunglasses that only show you things you forgot

3. Boots that glow when someone lies nearby
4. A vest made of leftover gacha tickets from the Before Times
5. Earrings shaped like tiny Moai statues
6. A pocket mirror that never shows your own reflection just your exes’ regrets

During DJ Bun's set at  Basement Club, Odin interrupted a dramatic reading of the cookbook to shout:

“I may not know how to roast a starberry...
But I can dress like I’ve already survived its explosion!”

The aliens responded by folding themselves into origami giraffes and leaving behind a mysterious dish labeled “Don’t Let Odin Eat This”.

Poor Noob Katrina had no clue, but liked Odin.

Dr. Parallax took a bite anyway.
He hasn't blinked since.

“Some say the Retreat is a waystation between realities.
Others say it’s a fever dream powered by moonlight, lentils, and questionable fashion.”

Cy and Em: "We are coming back to this crazy place."

“But I say: if the aliens are cooking and Odin’s modeling, you might as well dance barefoot and eat the glitter. And then the new visitors, Cy and Em, take all the money from the Trivia machine (an obsession of Bun.)" 

Bun picked foul language as the subject, and now we know who is internationally known for these cuss words. 

Oh yes, and Anjelikka, the Queen of the Basement, knew the German words and just like a German had to correct the members on how they were used in the proper order. Dandy, she said nothing this time, most likely was hoping her lentil recipe made it into the cookbook.

Coming up next, a report from the Basement kitchen. Yes, really!!!