WTTQ CHANNEL 10 NEWSFLASH

 “Tonight on The Evening Drift: Cats, Aliens, and the Queen of Postcards?”

Name: Trenton Glass (Reporting the bizarre as if it's completely ordinary)
Occupation: Anchor, WTTQ Channel 10
Style: Mid-century mod suits, holographic tie clips, always backlit like it’s prime time in 1962
Voice: Velvet-smooth, low-pitched with perfect enunciation — even when the world is ending
Catchphrase: “Where fashion meets fear.”

What do you mean the cats are not cats?

TRENTON GLASS (smiling, deadpan):
"Good evening, Second Life Sector 7 and all adjacent layers. Our top story tonight: Are your cats watching you, or watching for someone else?"

"Fashion queen and digital folklore figure Anjelikka made headlines again today after claiming — quote — the cats are not cats. They are mirrors in meat suits."

"This claim, dismissed by most sane entities, gained traction after a postcard was found at the WTTQ mailbox addressed to ‘Our Future Feline Overlords.’"

DANDY (holding lentil soup, exasperated):
“Look, I’m all for weird. I once DJ’d a sock auction during a memory collapse. But if cats are aliens? Then the soup is a firewall. And I’ve been eating it raw.”

This is not a cat

Trenton: "When asked for further comments, Anjelikka simply said: 'They purr in encryption.'"

ANJELIKKA (to no one in particular):
“They’re not cats, you know. Not really. They just wear that shape because it’s comfortable. Efficient. Soft fur conducts memory residue better than silicon.”

“When they purr, they’re broadcasting. Tiny signals. Whispers from the mirror-side of the wardrobe.”

DANDY: “She’s feeding alien frequencies to post-felines and calling it Tuesday. And people say I went too hard on the cumin.”

Frequency exchange?

We will be back between 2AM and 4AM Second Life time for another special report on how the liquor disappears in the Basement Club.

Suspects may be Casey and Rachel, but there is no solid proof at the moment, however, one of the aliens started to talk.

Dr. Parallax has also been a witness to this. We will report on him next...do not trust cats or aliens who hang around here.