Home for the holidays

Being finally home and being able to sleep in my bed is a miracle.

My recovery will be an ongoing thing. Life has changed forever.

But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people; first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest -a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Only a life lived for others is worth living.

--Albert Einstein

May you all have a very merry Christmas and a happy Hanukkah...hug your loved ones...thank your friends and I see you in Second Life soon :)

2 days before death and how Second Life helped me

The title sounds a bit crazy, but let me tell you it is the truth. 

I underwent a risky procedure to literally suck these clots out of my lungs and all that without any sedatives to put me out. This one I had to endure fully awake. It wasn't the most fun thing I have ever done. I think having my heart broken by an elf hurt more than this. I wish he knew that his voice would have made a BIG impact here. (But F U with your girlie panties and your no-good cheater old hag.) Some people are not worthwhile, you get yours.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.~ Albert Einstein

That evening I was relaxing in my most uncomfortable hospital bed listening to DJ Dandy streaming from the Basement Club some mellow music that aids in healing. I felt good and thought it was a nice gesture. You don't understand that the people in Second Life make a big difference even if we never met them, but they become friends and they help you and give you strength. Without Second Life I would have never had this, so I am lucky.

Things got worse and it is hard to even describe this, it is the horror that I wish upon nobody.

I get this phone call from my brother-in-law and he tells me my sister died. (She had been suffering for a long time). The time of her death was approximately the time I throw up blood during surgery as crazy as it sounds.

My task now was to notify her sons, and my brother in Germany and let them know since we do have a language barrier here. I am telling you unreal. My mother had died Christmas Day while I was in Germany and I questioned myself, why and how can this happen?

The nurses and doctors swung into action to hook up my phone as I cried my heart out and made that call.

Transfer to a new hospital

The doctors have decided that I need to be transferred to a new hospital that has specialists and equipment that can handle the massive demon inside of me.

No going home for Christmas. More blood is drawn out of my collapsed veins.

Tomorrow they have me scheduled for my CT scans and ultrasounds and then the Lung Doctor including the resident doctors will advise me on what can be done.

Update 2

Same...only the food that I get from home. I am literally crying. I am starving by now and I would eat chicken but now they discovered I have a ton of food allergies and am on a cardiac diet until further notice.

I do not care anymore...still have no food that I really eat..dumb people who cannot draw blood...my hands are so bruised I cannot even wipe myself...then I sit or lay here for hours...while I think everybody is enjoying their winter break...oh to top it off my job wants me to submit a TB that is due Jan 3...which was already submitted last week...most likely I will not work anyway.

You learn all sorts of things when you are in the hospital, the routine, the good nurses, and the ones that just do their jobs. The Doctors
are puzzled and don't know yet how to really treat this.

My IV machine has been beeping for hours...I can't reach the call button...so I am literally just waiting...waiting...not sure for what...Am I waiting to go home?

I miss Second Life for sure and how wonderful it would be to escape into this world. For now, have to wait it out.

I am grateful to Dandy who has checked up on me via Discord and hopefully he reported back to all the Basement Dwellers that I am not avoiding them, but I am here waiting.

Update 1

Things got a bit worse and I was admitted to the hospital. After all the CT Scans and Ultrasounds it showed that I had a massive blot clot ( Pulmonary Embolism) in my lungs that is slowly ending my life. I also had many clots in my legs as well.

Hooked up to many devices and IVs, all I can hope for is the best is that I make it out of here. The constant blood tapping hurts like needles on a cactus. I swear these people in here are vampires.

I am trying to be good.. but they keep sending me chicken to eat...I told them I am a vegetarian but maybe the kitchen thinks chicken is a vegetable. So I ate nothing all day.

I do want to be home for Christmas.

Keep me in your thoughts

So here I am in bed again with chills...and all the anemic symptoms I had before...I hope the medication kicks in fast. I barely made it from my classroom to my car. I have a feeling this is a little more than what I normally get.

I am missing Second Life tonight so I can rest over the weekend.

Hugs my friends...Real Life right now needs my time.

On the road to recovery

 I hope to feel better soon, so I can explore Second Life. It has been a roller coaster of being ill...hate it.