Pain

My first annoying thing is my

Pain.

I try to be I try to be strong, but it’s really hard and it took me about half an hour just to set this up to write this little piece because for some reason, my mind is messing up and I can’t remember how to do things especially with the phone the phone is much harder than doing it on the website, but yeah, my pain is on days very intolerable or whatever that is it. It goes to my entire body other days I can take medication and I feel OK but my OCD of all of this makes me constantly doubt the medication that I’m given and I have to research it over and over again and that’s annoying. It is really annoying. Why can’t I just trust? Why can’t I just trust the process of letting it go? My daughter is giving me the medication and I don’t know I just it’s hard for me to just let it go and just take the stuff and feel better but you know I can’t. It’s like taking over. Did you have that during your cancer treatment or are your experience? Are you experience experiencing that let’s see what else I fear of course I fear death who wouldn’t fear death if you say you don’t I don’t know if you’re telling the truth but but I do fear it. There’s so much that I wanna do still and I haven’t done and I’m gonna try to do as much as I can especially the block is it made my family and friends they can see what it’s like and maybe inspire others so they can get help so they can. I don’t know so they can get that at ease and anyway stay tuned. I’m gonna be riding more.