Locus of control

Research has shown that those with an internal locus of control—that is, they feel that they control their own destiny, rather than their fate being largely determined by external forces—tend to be happier, less depressed, and less stressed. That is not as easy as it sounds. In fact many things we do not have control over at all no matter what we do. However we can take control over those things that are important to us.

Phase out phrases like, ‘I have no choice’, and, ‘I can’t…” You can replace them with, ‘I choose not to,’ or, ‘I don’t like my choices, but I will…’ Realizing and acknowledging that you always have a choice (even if the choices aren’t ideal) can help you to change your situation, or accept it more easily if it really is the best of all available options.

When you tell yourself you can’t handle something (or some other self-limiting thought), you tend to stop looking for solutions. For example, notice the difference between telling yourself you can’t handle something and asking yourself how you will handle something. Doesn’t the second thought feel more hopeful and produce more creativity? Negative self-talk tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stopping negative thoughts and creating habitually positive internal dialogue can reduce stress and empower you. 

1. Friends can be a great inspiration to help you with stress, self-control and any negative you may have at the moment. Let them help you and focus your locus.

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