There is a scar, but you do not see it.

I feel like I'm straddling a timeline where the past is pulling me in one direction and the present another. I see flashes of images and noises burst through, fear comes out of nowhere. My heart races, my breathing is loud and I no longer know where I am.

Sometimes people insist on playing AC/DC in the club for me because I had expressed that I do not like them and I do not want to hear them. It is not that I dislike the band, it is what triggers me from the past. I wonder why people get joy from this. You would not reopen a scar just for the fun of it? You let it heal and yes it reminds you, but you never reopen it. 

PTSD is kind of like that. There is a scar, but you do not see it.

You fight every moment to protect that scar so it will not reopen and that can be very exhausting. It makes me weak and I doubt myself every time and I hear the laughter from a distance. In a therapy session, I was once asked what I like people to know about me and I responded that deep inside there is me, and "me" is really a beautiful person and she likes people to know that this scar does not go away, but it can heal and she is trying to heal and needs people to be understanding.

When I take pictures in Second Life it helps me calm myself and it gives me a sense of safety. I am then in my avoidance place and do not have to deal with people who do not know and sometimes do not care.

I can surround myself with beautiful things and later look at the pictures that I have taken and see that "me" and how creative the experience was.

Keeping this visual blog (journal) helps me look back on how I deal with emotions and what the triggers are and how I can avoid them. Each person deals with the fight/flight responses differently and that is ok. I am grateful to Second Life to have a place to go and to find some peace along the way. 

And for those who want to continue to play AC/DC go ahead but know this if you do know me, that music was played as I was being choked and beaten and whimpered for help.

Do unicorns exist?

I suppose we can question the existence of the unicorn. Unicorns are real creatures and they have once existed. There are a lot of facts and research going around that has proven that unicorns did actually exist. Fossil remains have been found. Some people have seen it on a few occasions. And Scotland as a country has always had the unicorn as their national animal and also used it to build statues, create signs, and used as symbols. 

National animals are representations of the spirit of a country. For instance, America has an eagle which is a symbol of freedom. Italy has a wolf which is an emblem of pack-like solidarity. Nigeria has horses that signify dignity. And many other countries have their various anima. England has a lion which is an illustration of strength. However, Scotland’s national animal is a little different. They chose an incredibly popular animal that some people are still arguing its existence – the unicorn.

Whether you believe in magic or not, it does not hurt to have some fantasy within you. Unicorns symbolize purity and innocence. They haven't done anything and they are as pure as a baby. They simply wander with their own beauty and grace.

Believing gives us some sense of hope for something better and more peaceful and in today's world, we need this. 

Why are unicorns so popular nowadays and why should you like them?

It's an age-old question, but it might be that the unicorn has become popular again because they're so rare. As a symbol of rarity and purity, there are many reasons to love them! In today’s society where everything is fake or tries to be something they are not, we need something new and refreshing - unicorns give us hope for what could come next.

Here in Second Life we can actually see the unicorn and interact with unicorns. Have you ever ridden on a unicorn? Here you can, just like magic. So believe in it because it does exist and anything is possible when you come here.

Still skeptical? For those of you who believe in God, the unicorn has been mentioned many times in the bible.

Psalms 22:21: “Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.”

Happy Unicorn dreams :)

Loss of an illusion?

Frequently, we develop in our minds the way we think things "should" be. However, reality doesn't always correspond with the demands that we put on life, ourselves, and others. Therefore, sometimes we are hurt when we have to face this reality.

I like the fact that in Second Life you can create some illusion and for the most part you are the captain of this ship. Say what you mean and mean what you say counts here as much as it does in Real Life. Or at least it should.

I am disabled by fears, concerning which course to take. For now, those wheels are turning.
I find my faith deserting me. And we'll dance through our isolation seeking solace in the wisdom we bestow. Turning thoughts to the here and ever after consuming fears in our fiery halos.

You taught me patience was a virtue. I took my time, let nature take her cause all was revealed all in good time. 

For now, I will hold on to the illusion, it is not lost. It is my illusion and I will create something new and more.

Let's fly, let's fly away

Come fly with me, let's fly away
If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away
Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru
In llama land, there's a one-man band
And he'll toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, let's take off in the blue

Once I get you up there,
Where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide
Starry-eyed
Once I get you up there
I'll be holding you so near
You may heat the angels cheer
Just because we're together

Weather-wise it's such a lovely day
Just say the words, and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco bay
It's perfect, for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me
Let's fly, let's fly away

Once I get you up there,
Where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide
Starry-eyed
Once I get you up there
I'll be holding you so near
You may hear all the angels cheer
Just because we're together. Michael Bublé (2003)

The "almost summer" at the Retreat

The Retreat has been around for so many years now in Second Life ever since I created it when I first came here and bought this property. I absolutely love to landscape it and prepare it for each season. 

The Lake @ the Retreat has been around for a bit and in Winter I cover it with ice and snow, but now with summer almost around the corner, the water has warmed up and is ready to be enjoyed. ( You will find the Lake behind the Gallery )

Since the Retreat also has an exclusive "Indie-Alternative" Club called the Basement we sometimes want to go outside and hold a set out there. The Lake has been a favorite setting, because who does not like to put on some swimwear and splash in the water with some great people and listen to the tunes you love?

The Basement Club is still a one-of-a-kind place and what really makes it great is the people who come there. Don't miss out and try to stop by there when you can. We have DJs there M-F starting at 6PM SLT. 

The Lake at the Retreat is just a refreshing extra to the entire fun we have here. The Retreat is open to all residents to enjoy. You don't have to be a member of the group, but of course, being a member will inform you of all the wonderful events that do happen at the Retreat, the Basement Cub, or the Retreat Galley. You can also join the Discord Group that not only brings you all that is happening, it also includes other fine venues that play the best music, it also has some of the coolest blogs about fashion, decor, and of course second life.

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

It all starts with Spring when flowers bloom, when waters warm when people play. ~AYK

Where do you unwind?

Ever since RL requires me to teach in-person and virtual it created so much more work to prepare for lesson plans. I heard people say that those teachers are lazy and need to be back in school. Trust me my workday of 8 hours at school does not end, there are hours upon hours and including weekends to make this all work. Oh,, by the way, we do not get paid extra for this either.

Since we are no robots we have to find ways to unwind all of this tension and for me, it is to be creative and either paint or take some photographs in Second Life. There are so many wonderful places that have been created by people that just make you feel good.

Everybody rewinds differently and that is ok. I just need to see things that give me the sensation that I am at a vacation spot. After all, the past 14 months being stuck at home took a toll on most of us, while we watched film after film and ate more than we ever had.

These are the reason why I am in Second Life in the first place to create that atmosphere of beauty that helps with stress, depression, and all sorts of mental fatigue.

I am not saying that Second Life is the only thing you can do to unwind, it isn't. You still need to go out there and breathe the fresh air and see the real grass. Often a mental health coach will recommend getting some mindful meditation that helps immerse yourself in the here and now, guided imagery involves allowing your mind to drift off to your ‘happy place’. Whether that’s a white sandy beach, rolling hills, or a peaceful garden, imagining yourself in that setting can be one of the best ways to relax and calm your mind. 

And here I am, at my "happy place".

The Basement Club

The Basement Club has been around now for 5 years, which seems like an eternity for Second Life standards. It is located in the basement under the Retreat gallery and you can find an entrance at the gallery to teleport down or a direct teleport from the main entrance at the Retreat. The best thing to do is get a landmark when you are there and join the group.

The club's music taste is kind of geared towards Indie and Alternative, but will also hear some eclectic and electronic sounds depending on the DJ that plays. Most happenings here are M-F starting at 6PM SLT. Hope you check it out and make some new friends.

We don't always have themes and when we do they are last-minute decisions.

Our guests don't have to dress up, they can come as they are but are welcome to join the party. More fun when you put on something to fit in. We all know you have hundreds of items in your inventory. Why not use them.

If you like to DJ here at the Basement, just fill out an application that you can find at the door, you can also send a notecard directly to me " Anjelikka". Thanks!!! Either way, just stop by and have some fun.