“Aliens Attract Caribous: A Seasonal Mystery at Area 52”

Filed by Trenton Glass, Paranormal Ecology Desk

The dunes outside Area 52 are now dotted with… caribous. Not holograms. Not misidentified aliens. Not runaway reindeer.
Actual, confused, northern, snow-loving caribous sniffing around the alien landing pads.
Why? Because the aliens are unintentionally broadcasting a scent frequency that caribous apparently adore.

Sweet-smelling Caribous? Or is it the aliens?

DR. PARALLAX explains: “Our atmospheric stabilizer emits trace amounts of xenoflora pollen. Caribous perceive it as the irresistible smell of cosmic lichen.”
Translation:
The aliens smell like snacks to caribous.

The aliens are thrilled.
“They are soft,” one alien commented, petting a bemused caribou.
“Also, they scream less than humans.”
A promising diplomatic beginning.

After Rachel said, trying to ride a caribou: Goodness knows I have a problem.  And the only problem is when I'm not slamming Vodka." A “Please Do Not Ride the Caribous” sign (put up after Casey tried exactly that).

A warm wind sweeps over the dunes as red and green lights flicker above the domes. The aliens have gathered outside the hangars, sipping Cosmic Cocoa and staring upward.
Suddenly, a glowing object streaks across the violet night, not a saucer this time, but a sleigh-shaped silhouette with eight very confused reindeer.

“We thought it was an invasion,” says Dr. Parallax, “until we heard the bells. No hostile intent, just merriment.”

Moments later, Santa’s voice was allegedly heard over local comms saying:
“Next stop… Mars Colony B, if the coordinates are right!”
“Ho ho ho Area 52, you’ve been... surprisingly nice!”