Why Winter Is Too Harsh for Aliens (“Save an alien. Buy a gacha.”)

They completely misunderstood snow. They arrived thinking fluffy white stuff = marshmallows → delicious! Then they touched it… "Marshmallow is cold. Marshmallow hurts. Marshmallow… lies.”
Now they glare suspiciously at every bag of Jet-Puffed.

Their bodies are made for warmer galaxies. Their home planet’s average temperature: 78°F, year-round.
“WHY IS YOUR AIR TRYING TO FREEZE OUR JUICES?!”
They tried to fix the cold problem by wearing:
pool floaties
bathroom towels
plastic grocery bags as boots

They learned two things:

These are not clothes. Humans laugh way too easily.

Every time it snows, they shriek:

“The sky is shedding frozen dandruff! TAKE COVER!”

Area 52 now has a “No Screaming at the Weather” rule.

Hot chocolate is… confusing
They thought marshmallows had finally returned with a warm attitude. Then they melted. Cue alien trauma.

The Winter Survival Plan:
Sell more gachas = buy thick Earth sweaters
Create fake marshmallow snow: edible AND warm
Petition humans to move Earth closer to the sun
Capture a space heater (or three)

UFOh My Gacha Store — Season of Giving Deals! 

The aliens have scanned Marketplace prices… and laughed. Why pay more out there when the best steals are at Area 52?
Gachas from 5L to 500L
New cosmic crates arriving throughout the season
Collect the Weird. Trade the Wonderful.

Be kind. Be curious. Be abducted by bargains.
Fly to Area 52 and grab gifts before they vanish into the void!

“Save an alien. Buy a gacha.”