"It's been a while – you should be doing better by now. Why are you still feeling this way?" Asking a lot of "why" questions can make the survivor feel they're being challenged instead of supported.
If it was that easy we would all just forget about it and be done with it. It isn't PTSD can all of a sudden creep out of nowhere back into your daily life. You have done all the medication, the therapy, read the books and yet it returns. Usually, by the time people get to know me they are tired of the sudden triggers of sadness and unworthiness that they compare with depression and should be medicated.
While it’s good to be a companion to someone who struggles with PTSD, make sure you’re not trying to “fix” them. What’s the difference? Being a companion is about being present—to observe and honor someone else’s pain. You do this by listening to their stories, being attentive, asking questions, and making them feel safe.
The bottom line is this: You don’t have to fix it. But you do need to be available to them.
The good news is that life can remain pretty normal and with a good friend who stands behind you, you can do this. Friends who are friends with people of PTSD are superheroes, they just don't know it. They truly are. Without them, we fall deeper into the hole of depression and anxiety that will lead to manic depression and no way out.
Many friends who have gotten closer to me, have left. The constant roller coaster of this is much harder to endure and I highly recommend that those who want to be my friend to read about PTSD. You don't have to, but it makes it much easier.
Right now, this moment as I write this all is good, but this can change. I never know when I get a trigger or when my anxiety gets the best of me. I try to bask in the sunshine of feeling good and happy to warm my mind.
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