People THRIVE on positive reinforcement. They wither with criticism.

Emotionally unavailable people tend to be perfectionists, always looking for the fatal flaw or character defect that gives them permission to exit a relationship and move on. In reality, they are debilitated by their own self-criticism and fear of being rejected. They are so frightened of intimacy that eventually they'll find an excuse for leaving a relationship. (The booby prize is thinking that you'll ever be good enough to meet their impossible standards.)

Often emotionally unavailable people will say, "I'm just not good at having a relationship," or "I don't think I'm ready." Believe them! In this case, they are not lying. But don't fall into their trap: there is something terribly seductive about trying to be "the one" who turns them around. Don't try. Accept their negative pronouncements.

I have seen this so many times in Second Life as well as in Real Life, it can be so predictable if you have your eyes open you can see it. If you find yourself constantly attracting emotionally unavailable partners, it’s probably because you are emotionally unavailable. We attract what we give out. This is the honest to god damn truth too. Easier to blame others I guess than think you could be the one that is not right here. 

Stop agreeing with your negative thoughts. If someone said, you’re a purple elephant,  you wouldn’t argue about how you really aren’t and how even purple elephants have feelings. You would just shrug and say ‘OK, whatever. So when someone points that out, or you see an advertisement with a 120-lb model, your mind comes up with ‘I’m ugly’ and you agree with it. Stop! Who cares if you are skinny or fat, tall or short, it does not matter at all. Like my mother said there is a lid for every pot and when you are not emotionally available even being a model looking type of person is not going to give you what you want.

People THRIVE on positive reinforcement. They wither with criticism.