Gaslighting is a form of abuse

He made me feel stupid and I started to believe it.

So lately I hear much about the term Gaslighting and to me, it sounds exactly what narcissism is all about. The story of a frog that gets dropped in boiling water knows he is being boiled, but a frog that starts in cool water and the temperature is slowly turned up never knows he is being boiled. We have all experienced this from time to time when someone you know or even someone you live with and love tells you: You thought that last time and you were wrong, don’t you remember? Where did you get an idea like that? Quit bitching I am not listening to that crap tonight! You’re making that up, I don’t remember that at all.

Does that sound familiar? I know it does because that is a narcissist telling you that you are wrong, it is you and it all exists in your mind.

There were times when I wanted him to get burned.

If you dare question the truth it gets thrown back at you and you are accused of having a bad memory, you are told you always forget.  “You’re too sensitive” is what you also hear from the abuser. ( and I say abuser because that is what they are.) 

The narcissist can be a co-worker or even your boss too but this kind of devalue you and gaslighting is a form of psychological/emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into doubting this/her own memory, perception and sanity. I know this from my own experiences and much of the abuse led to PTSD as a result of many other events that may have occurred in your life. It all adds up.

I felt utterly alone and ashamed of what was happening to me. 

And a narcissistic gaslighter is not always a man, women can use this emotional abuse as well. I know this too about a friend I have here in SL. He is not in SL anymore but he most definitely gets abused by the now-wife he met in SL and is with her in RL. I often fear for him and that triggers my anxiety and I feel helpless because I cannot help him. 

If you are being abused, be careful how you approach this. Abusers can be dangerous and will manipulate you to believe you are at fault. Keep a journal, write it all down exactly hos it happens. This can give you a big picture later and helps with the heeling that you are NOT crazy and you DID NOT cause any of this. Plan a safe exit!!!

If all fails please, please call 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.

Dancing under the stars

Every Saturday night the Basement Club holds its musical set with DJ Riker on the Retreat Plaza. This is a beautiful location surrounded by its landscape and architecture. 

You can visit here anytime and do not have to wait for any kind of set. While you are here visit the Retreat Gallery and also go down to the Basement Club where most of our sets are held.

Sunday  6-8 PM SLT DJ Karyn/or DJ Likka as a sub
Tuesday 6-8 PM SLT DJ DACINOR ( Indie/Alternative)
Thursday 8-10 PM SLT DJ Likka and DJ Dandy (Indie/Eclectic)
Friday 7-9 PM SLTGrum ( Indie/ Alternative)
Saturday 6-8 PM SLT DJ Riker (eclectic rock)

Feel free to contact me (Anjelikka) if you want to DJ or host or if you want to display your art.
We would love to have you here and enjoy the Retreat fully, so don't hesitate. Become a group member and get all the updates of events and sets that are happening here.

The music here is always unique, always different because when it comes to music you want to hear a mix of a variety of tunes. Think of it as spices to a meal. Come join us soon!!!!

Kolmannskuppe

In Namibia, from 1884 to 1915, the German Empire ruled the area and it was known as German South-West Africa. Diamonds were found in this particular area in 1908 and caused an influx of German miners. The village was built in the architectural style of a German town and even had the first tram in Africa that lead to the next town. It had many amenities and buildings including a theater, hospital, casino, school, bowling alley, ballroom and sport-hall, power station, ice factory, and the first x-ray-station in the southern hemisphere.

Kolmannskuppe. A ghost town and tourist destination in southern Nambia. Once a thriving diamond mine and one of the richest towns in Africa, the abandoned buildings are now being swallowed by the Namib desert. Come visit it in Second Life.

After the first World War, the town began to decline and Kolmanskop became abandoned by 1954. The diamonds in the area were exhausted and the wealth that once drove this luxurious desert town had been depleted. The desert sands are now reclaiming the town. Many of the houses have several feet of sand inside them and the outside of many buildings are deteriorating. Overall the ghost town is in good shape, having tours run through it for interested visitors. Tours are run by the NamDeb company and you need a permit to visit.
Find it with these desert coordinates. 26.70406°S 15.232365°E and find it in Second Life via this landmark: Kolmannskuppe 

It is a beautiful recreation and it really gives you the feel of being in the hot and dry desert where all you see is sand and these ruins left behind. I hope you go and check it out. 

Endless 58-58N

The Orkney Islands, group of more than 70 islands and islets—only about 20 of which are inhabited—in Scotland, lying about 20 miles (32 km) north of the Scottish mainland, across the strait known as the Pentland Firth. The Orkney Islands constitute a council area and belong to the historic county of Orkney. The subject of the latest region design by  Sombre Nyx called Endless 58-58N.

It is worth a visit, leave your smartphones behind because they won't work on this remote island but do bring a sunhat and sunglasses and enjoy the fresh sea breeze.

The Orkney Islands were fashioned by glacial erosion of the underlying sandstone, limestone, and igneous rocks into low, undulating hills, covered extensively by glacial deposits. Westerly winds and gales account for the general scarcity of trees. 

I enjoyed the calmness here and you can take some fantastic photographs. I did not see any crowds of people a few visitors here and there, so no issue with lag at all.

Dya's scent of the Caribbean

"Dya's scent of the Caribbean. Feel the good vibes and the rhythm of Reggae. Long beaches, romantic spots, and various places for photographers. Good place for biker and horseman. Everyone is welcome :)"

The warm breeze from the ocean will tickle your senses and make you feel the cool minty waters of the Caribbeans. This place is magical in many ways, it makes you happy the minute you set foot here.

A walk along the white sandy beach listening to the seagulls singing their hungry songs. Hear the waves rolling in and out to the Reggae sounds. 

Follow the paths and it will lead you around the island and you will always find the beach. There is even a blue lagoon and turtles...just look around and you will find all the hidden treasures this lovely sim has to offer. Take a swim in the smooth sea to refresh your senses.

Or let the soft waves massage your body. The crystal clear waters are a pure joy as they surround you.

Meet some of the happy people as you frolic around the island. This is a great experience and a relaxing getaway if you need it. Stop by often.!!! 

Broken pieces of my life

Drive by the Retreat and Basement Club in Monty

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why, oh, why can't I? Actually, I can and the rainbow is always translucent anywhere because sometimes you could be right in that rainbow and not even know it. 

You could be my unintended

Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
First, there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

Thank you for being there when everything seems to fall apart once again but yet tears dry before they hit the ground.

The universe is 13.78 billion years old

Alien dreams have always been powered by the desire for human importance in a vast, forgetful cosmos: We want to be seen so we know we exist. What’s unusual about the alien fantasy is that, unlike religion, nationalism, or conspiracy theory, it doesn’t place humans at the center of a grand story. In fact, it displaces them: Humans become, briefly, major players in a drama of almost inconceivable scale, the lasting lesson of which is, unfortunately: We’re total nobodies.

There are numerous stories of people who have claimed to have some kind of encounter with the unexplained. For example, in 1975, a team of loggers claimed their 22-year-old co-worker Travis Walton disappeared for five days after a glowing disc in the Arizona woods zapped him with a “bluish ray.” Intrigued, he’d reportedly wandered underneath the hovering object, and it abducted him. This, later on, was made into a movie with the name "Fire in the Sky". You can also read his book, which some people claim it was written to make money. Of course, books are written to make money, what other reason is there to write to them? To learn things? Nothing is free and everything has its price. If you have not seen the movie, go check it out. Not as compelling as the book, but hey Hollywood even makes alien guts look glamourous.

Where are these aliens? Let’s start with the most depressing theory: Maybe we haven’t found extraterrestrials because they’re all dead — at least now. The universe is 13.78 billion years old, and in that amount of time, there might have been plenty of civilizations that evolved and went extinct. But maybe they’re not dead — just hibernating. Maybe alien life is actually everywhere — it’s just not intelligent enough to speak with us.  Maybe the aliens are already here and we just haven’t figured it out yet. 

You can always research for yourself. Maybe start with the famous SETI project itself. It is a fascinating subject and if you love things like this(obviously I do) then you will enjoy that website. I used to be all part of the SETI project lending your computer to science and record outer space noise, just in case someone wanted to contact us. In the good ole days when I played Starfleet Command and we would fight the aliens in a virtual world.

The truth isn’t out there — it’s here.