Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Gaslighting is a form of abuse

He made me feel stupid and I started to believe it.
So lately I hear much about the term Gaslighting and to me, it sounds exactly what narcissism is all about. The story of a frog that gets dropped in boiling water knows he is being boiled, but a frog that starts in cool water and the temperature is slowly turned up never knows he is being boiled. We have all experienced this from time to time when someone you know or even someone you live with and love tells you: You thought that last time and you were wrong, don’t you remember? Where did you get an idea like that? Quit bitching I am not listening to that crap tonight! You’re making that up, I don’t remember that at all.

Does that sound familiar? I know it does because that is a narcissist telling you that you are wrong, it is you and it all exists in your mind.

There were times when I wanted him to get burned.
If you dare question the truth it gets thrown back at you and you are accused of having a bad memory, you are told you always forget.  “You’re too sensitive” is what you also hear from the abuser. ( and I say abuser because that is what they are.) 

The narcissist can be a co-worker or even your boss too but this kind of devalue you and gaslighting is a form of psychological/emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into doubting this/her own memory, perception and sanity. I know this from my own experiences and much of the abuse led to PTSD as a result of many other events that may have occurred in your life. It all adds up.

I felt utterly alone and ashamed of what was happening to me. 
And a narcissistic gaslighter is not always a man, women can use this emotional abuse as well. I know this too about a friend I have here in SL. He is not in SL anymore but he most definitely gets abused by the now-wife he met in SL and is with her in RL. I often fear for him and that triggers my anxiety and I feel helpless because I cannot help him. 

If you are being abused, be careful how you approach this. Abusers can be dangerous and will manipulate you to believe you are at fault. Keep a journal, write it all down exactly hos it happens. This can give you a big picture later and helps with the heeling that you are NOT crazy and you DID NOT cause any of this. Plan a safe exit!!!

If all fails please, please call 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.

No comments:

Post a Comment